In keeping with the theme of suicide, in honor of September being Suicide Prevention Month, it is important to learn to become comfortable with addressing the subject, especially if it is impacting someone you know or love.
Acknowledge your feelings of uncertainty. It is okay to not have the “perfect” words or to feel scared when bringing up the issue. What matters most is to show you care, even if you are unsure of how to express yourself.
Examples of what you can say can include: “I am not exactly sure what to say, but I am really worried about you, and I want to be here for you,” or “I might not know how to help, but I’m here to listen and be with you.”
Focus on active listening. Sometimes just listening can be incredibly powerful. Let them talk without worrying about having a perfect response. “I am here for you, no matter what. Just talk to me.”
Offer reassurance without minimizing. It’s important to let them know that you are there for them and acknowledge their feelings without making them feel like they should not be struggling. “Whatever you’re feeling is valid, and I’m here to support you.” Or “You are not alone in this. We’ll figure this out together.”
Know when silence is powerful. Sometimes words aren’t necessary. Just being there with them can be really comforting. Let them cry or express their feelings in their own way without trying to fill the silence. Sit quietly with them, showing that you’re there for them without needing to talk.
Don’t leave them alone if they are at immediate risk. If they are in serious danger, it is important to stay with them and get help immediately.
What to say: “We need to get some help right now; I am not going anywhere.”
What to do: Call a suicide prevention hotline together and stay with them while you do (9-8-8 Suicide & Crisis Line or Crisis Warm Line 209-381-6819).
Take them to a safe place, like the nearest emergency room and stay by their side.
(Christina Martinez, LCSW, is the Program Manager of the Los Banos Clinic of Merced County Behavioral Health and Recovery Services, located at 40 W. G. St.,Suite C, in Los Banos.)
