Back-to-school season often brings a mix of emotions, including excitement, nerves and anticipation. But one emotion that is not often discussed this time of year is pressure.
For kids, it often comes in the form of peer expectations, like wearing the “right” brands or having the latest phone.
For parents, there’s a different kind of pressure: providing those things while managing financial realities, emotional guilt and a deep desire to protect their child from feeling left out.
We tend to associate peer pressure with children and teens, and yes, it’s very real.
Young people are navigating their identities, and school is one of the biggest social arenas where they learn who they are and where they fit in.
It’s natural for kids to want to blend in or stand out in certain ways, but the pressure to “keep up” can affect their mental and emotional health.
They might come home feeling embarrassed that their shoes aren’t name-brand or withdraw because they don’t have the latest gadget others are showing off. These moments can chip away at self-esteem and increase anxiety.
But what we don’t talk about enough is how parents feel this pressure, too. In a time of rising costs and economic uncertainty, many caregivers are struggling to meet basic needs, much less buy $150 sneakers or fill a cart with trendy supplies.
It’s easy to feel inadequate or guilty when you can’t give your child what others seem to have. Parents might feel embarrassed, ashamed or resentful, especially when their child compares or complains.
The back-to-school season can quickly become a financial and emotional strain, filled with subtle competition, social comparison and internalized feelings of “not being enough.”
Let’s be clear: your worth as a parent is not defined by the backpack your child brings to school!
There are a few things we can do as parents and caregivers. First, open the conversation.
Talk to your children about peer pressure in age-appropriate ways. Help them understand that confidence, kindness and character matter more than brands. Validate their feelings but also offer perspective.
It’s also important to name your own pressure. It’s okay to say, “I wish I could get you those shoes, but we have to make smart choices with our money right now.”
This demonstrates healthy boundaries and financial responsibility, which are valuable life lessons.
Third, practice gratitude together. Help your child see what they do have—love, stability, effort and maybe even some creative alternatives. A thrifted jacket or a backpack patch can become a point of pride with the right mindset.
Be sure to focus on emotional preparation, not just material preparation. Spend time prepping your child emotionally for the school year.
Talk about routines, coping with stress, managing time and how to handle difficult social moments. These skills matter more than what they wear.
Finally, connect with your community. Many schools and community organizations offer back-to-school supply drives or clothing swaps. Don’t hesitate to reach out—you’re not alone, and support exists.
As the new school year begins, let’s shift our focus from having the best to feeling our best. Whether you’re a parent trying to hold it all together or a child trying to find your place, know this: you are enough.
