What’s often missing during the Thanksgiving holiday is gratitude. Most of the emphasis seems to be on travel challenges, food preparation food and big deals on Bleak (sic) Friday. The essence of Thanksgiving –giving thanks (or feeling gratitude) –- is often just an afterthought.
This holiday should be all about gratitude and a reminder, as author Henry Thoreau wrote, that “thanksgiving should be perpetual,” or, as he continued, each day “I am grateful for what I am and have.”
And as we get older, gratitude should be more pronounced each year. Oliver Sachs, a physician and author of 14 books, in his fifteenth and last book on his 80th birthday, as he looked back on his life, wrote, “My predominant feeling is one of gratitude. I have loved and been loved. I have been given much, and I have given something in return.”
This column, as it turns out, is a continuation of my previous column, in which I wrote about my own reflections on turning 80. I mentioned gratitude in that column, and I will focus on gratitude in this column, in the spirit of Thoreau and Sachs.
What I will list here is not particularly unusual. I believe all of my readers could construct a similar list, and I encourage them to do so.
My gratitude is primarily for people–family members, teachers, colleagues and friends of mine over eight decades.
Foremost for me is gratitude for having two remarkable women in my life, Susan and Sandy. I have been blessed to have fallen in love twice and married two wonderful women, both with the willingness to support and encourage me. Some guys never find soulmates. I’ve been fortunate to have found two.
I am grateful for my children. I’ll begin with my biological children: Ginny, Mike and Megan. They have made me and their mother Susan proud. They all have a strong work ethic, take initiative, follow through and most importantly care deeply about others – not only their own families but neighbors and friends and people they hardly know.
When someone asks me what I proudest of in my life, I quickly and readily answer, “My children.”
I am also grateful for the four children who became part of my family when I married Sandy: Jennifer, Jacquie, Amanda and Johnny. What blessings they have been! Not only did they welcome me into their family, they, like my biological children, have provided encouragement and support to me, as well as to their mother Sandy.
And, of course, I’m grateful for the 20 grandchildren in the blended family Sandy and I have and the three great-grandchildren we now have. What joy they have brought to our lives!
I’m lucky – and grateful – to have come from a strong family, my father for his work ethic, my mother for her faith. They, in turn, had parents (my grandparents) who provided examples of fortitude and determination, immigrants who somehow found a way to get from Czechoslovakia to Chicago.
I’m grateful for my three siblings – Marianne, Joan and Frank — all of whom are older than me, who have provided me with examples of how to live my life with integrity.
Teachers are often overlooked but I’m grateful to have had some remarkable ones: in high school Fathers Dismas and Mike, in college, Father Leo as well as Professors Lawler, Felicitas and Coleman; in grad school, Professors Kolb, Bevington, Williams, Murrin and Ringler.
I’m grateful to have had extraordinary colleagues in my professional life as an educator. At the Los Banos and Merced Campuses of Merced College: May, Ted, Lowell, Bob, Mary Ann, Catherine, Tom, Jan, Ben, Mike, Larry and Anne. After I retired from the college, fellow educators Rocky, Ray, Ed, Eva, Julie, Walt, Cindra, Dan, Nicki and Cindy.
Good friends, like teachers, are often overlooked or taken for granted. For me, I’m especially grateful for the friends I’ve had for most of my life: George, John, Dave, Fred and Finian. How lucky I’ve been to have them all these years.
And, of course, I’m grateful for all the friends I’ve had since I moved to Los Banos 54 years ago, too many to mention by name, but all close to my heart.
To most of my readers, most of the names in this column are just names. But by including them by name, I have given a small tribute to them. Mentioning so many people by name shows me how grateful I should be.
I encourage you, dear reader, to do the same this long Thanksgiving holiday weekend. Take some time to remember by name people for whom you are grateful.
When you’re done with your list, I think you’ll find, as I have, that gratitude comes easily when you think about it.
On a similar note: As a Los Banos Rotarian I am grateful for all the people who made the recent Empty Bowls event a success, with all proceeds going to people who experience hunger. My appreciation extends to the 17 restaurants who donated soup, to all the Rotarians, Interact members, and other volunteers who worked tirelessly on the event and especially to everyone who bought a ticket, enjoyed good soup, took home a bowl and appreciated the conviviality of the evening.
John Spevak’s email is john.spevak@gmail.com
