Many people seek therapy due to the belief that there is something fundamentally wrong with them. They talk about themselves as if they are a problem to be fixed: “Once I stop overthinking,” “When I’m less anxious,” “If I could just be happier…,” then they’ll finally deserve happiness or peace.
This belief is one of the most damaging myths about mental health. Struggling does not mean you are broken. Anxiety, depression, and emotional pain are not character flaws. They are human and biological responses to stress, loss, trauma and unmet needs.
Yet, our culture often sends the message that we must constantly work on ourselves before we are allowed to feel content. Healing becomes another item on the to-do list.
Peace is not something you earn after fixing yourself. Peace begins when you stop treating yourself like a project and start treating yourself like a person.
Growth and self-acceptance are not opposites. You can work toward change while also offering yourself compassion in the present moment.
In fact, research shows that people are more likely to make lasting changes when they feel safe and supported—not when they are motivated by shame or forced to change by others.
This shift can be subtle but powerful. It looks like replacing “I shouldn’t feel this way” with “It makes sense that I feel this way.” It looks like allowing rest without guilt. It looks like understanding that healing is not linear: there will be progress, setbacks and pauses along the way.
You are allowed to experience peace while you are still healing. You are allowed to feel joy on days when anxiety shows up. You are allowed to rest before you feel deserving of it.
Mental health isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about learning how to live more gently with who you already are.
