Let me introduce you to two wonderful words. They are both in keeping with the hectic holiday season that we are all racing towards. They are common words, but although they are spelled the very same way, they have very different meanings.
A present represents the giving of gifts to someone, as well as the gifts being given to us. I remember my mother always saying, “Oh what a gift, the gift to give us, to see ourselves as others see us.”
While there is wisdom in that quote, I do not know many people who would like to get that present for Christmas.
We want our gifts to show our affection towards the receiver by expressing thoughtfulness and a sense of joy.
The other present meaning is in the moment, to be mindful and committed to the now, one now at a time. That is a great gift to others as well as yourself. While it is far less tangible, it is of so much importance.
To be present is to be wholly mindful, totally committed to the moment. This state is the perfect gift to us and to those who are also present.
These moments of being present help to build our treasure chest of memories. It also enables us to be fully heard and to listen meaningfully. Those of you who have experienced that wonderful feeling of really being heard know just what a gift (present) it is.
Sadly, in our crazy, hectic world, we are often too concerned about where we are headed, what we need to do next, than breathing in fully the moment of Now.
Thich Nhat Hanh once said, “Nothing is more precious than being in the moment. Fully alive, fully aware.”
No less great a mind than Albert Einstein once said, “A happy man is too satisfied with the present to dwell too much on the future.”
I say, in my humble opinion, “When we fully understand that the present is a present, and embrace and honor that, we will be granted peace, grace and joy.”
I also say, again humbly, that the best present we can give or receive is the gift of our time, and to be totally committed to that person within that time. That is such a glorious feeling. So come along with me into the world of presents and the present.
There are things that are gifts, although not presents, but are the most precious moments to be present in.
The gift of another day, that sadly, some people will not be here to enjoy. The gift of being able to have a child when there are so many for whom that remains a dream. The gift of a good marriage. The gift of having your spouse alive.
Your health and the health of those you love are an enormous gift. This season is a good time to remember the gifts we have been given in our lives.
When my children ask me what I want for a special occasion, I usually say, time with them doing something special, be it a mani-pedi, going to a movie, play, concert or out to dinner. A museum, an art gallery, a bookstore.
The thing that matters to me the most is their company. It is not the cost that matters to me; it is being able to have one-on-one time.
Now, for a moment, back to the other definition of present. With the advent of cell phones, one of the complaints I hear the most, and I second this, is that you look forward to spending time with someone, maybe at lunch, and what does the other person do?
I know you are way ahead of me there; they spend most of your time together being on their phones. Half the time, you don’t even see their face. Disappointing and rude. You feel second fiddle to a phone.
This has a lot to do with being present when you are with someone. Unless it is a true emergency, most calls can be dealt with later. Being present is a present. So is eye contact. Looking at someone gives the message that they matter. Single and want a second date? Be present.
Life goes by so terribly fast; I swear I was seven last week, and we should want to experience it now, instead of regretting it later.
This festive time of year, of present shopping, the most used question next to “Is Santa here yet?” is “What do you want for ‘insert event?’” We wonder, just what do our loved ones want?
While it seems like an easy question, we usually say, “Oh, I don’t know.” Why not work on your own version of a child’s letter to Santa?
If you hear about a book you might like, jot it down. If your watch is broken or you want a new coffee pot, write that down. If you have a new hobby, like scrapbooking, write it down. Gift cards? For where?
So, if someone asks, you are prepared. Both of you will be happy about it, you get what you like, and it saves them time.
When you are on the other side of the present, try listening, and when someone mentions a clue, write it down on an index card. It is like being a junior detective. Listen to the clues. What sports do they like? Which author? What are their hobbies? Do they have pets? Gardening? Cooking? Crafts?
Where do you shop? With the internet, a lot of people do their present shopping in the comfort of their homes. I am a great supporter of, if you can, shopping locally.
Why? I like tax dollars kept in my communities. It helps people stay employed, many local businesses are struggling, and when I can, I want to help. I also like to see things in person, feel them, smell them and it is easier to return too. We all have our favorite spots.
When I lived in Los Banos, I used to love to look around Fleur de Lis because everything there was special, and it was always a pleasant experience for me.
Phoenix Books has a wide variety of titles, but most important is the owner’s rich knowledge of all things books. Get gift certificates for local businesses and restaurants. If you know of someone’s favorite beautician, that is a great gift certificate.
While you are out and about humming Christmas carols, don’t forget your local florist or garden shop. Los Banos Flower Shop used to be one of my favorite places to find something special.
Your shopping done, wrapped, it is time to put on some holiday music, perhaps have a glass of eggnog or hot chocolate, ease into your most comfortable chair, all while being totally present in this moment, and then, you think all I need to make this perfect is to have a Christmas cookie. Whoops, Christmas cookie? Sorry, I forgot to make sure you scheduled time for the baking, parties, church events, school events and, wait, think about that later. You are having a mindful moment here.
