Survivors’ guilt is a particular kind of guilt that develops in people who have survived a life-threatening situation. Some survivors feel guilty that they survived when others died. Others believe they could have done more to save the lives of others, and then there are those who feel guilty that another person died saving them.
While survivor’s guilt was originally used to describe feelings that survivors of the Holocaust experienced, it has also been applied to several life-threatening situations, including car accidents, wars and natural disasters.
Survivor’s guilt is also common in those who have survived medical traumas. For instance, those who lived through the AIDS epidemic have described feelings of guilt related to their own survival while others, including friends or family, died. Some cancer survivors also experience this guilt if they survive a diagnosis, but others don’t.
Following a trauma, people may also experience feelings of regret. They may contemplate the events that took place and think about things they could have or should have done that they think would have altered the outcome. This rehashing of the events can further exacerbate feelings of guilt, particularly if people feel that their own actions, or inactions, may have worsened the consequences.
If you find yourself experiencing feelings of guilt following an aversive event, there are things you can do to manage those emotions. Here are some self-help strategies that you may find effective.
Allow yourself to grieve. It is important to acknowledge the people who were lost and allow yourself to mourn. Give yourself time and take things at your own pace.
Do something positive. Whether it is for yourself or for others, take those feelings and direct them toward making a change in the world. Sometimes just doing simple things for another person can help alleviate feelings of guilt.
Focus on the outside factors that led to an event. Shifting your focus on the external variables that created the situation can help you let go of the self-blame that contributes to feelings of guilt.
Practice self-forgiveness. Even if your actions were responsible for harm to another person, learning how to forgive yourself can help you move forward and regain a positive outlook
Remember that these feelings are common. Experiencing guilt doesn’t mean that you’re guilty of doing anything wrong. Sadness, fear, anxiety, grief and, yes, guilt are completely normal responses in the aftermath of a tragedy. It’s okay to feel happy about your own luck while at the same time mourning the fate of others.
Psychotherapy, group therapy, support groups and medications may also be helpful in the treatment of survivor’s guilt symptoms.
Christina Martinez, LCSW, is the program manager of the Los Banos Clinic of Merced County Behavioral Health and Recovery Services, located at 40 W. G. St., Suite C, in Los Banos.
