The concept of Karma has always reminded me of a boomerang. What we put out there often comes back, good and bad. I am a big believer in the power of random kindness, or kindness in any category. I also believe that if we do those kindnesses thinking of personal gain, it sort of negates the act.
As my beloved Grandpa Day always said, give with a joyful heart. There are, of course, as many forms of kindness as sands on a beach. We can show kindness to those we love, those we know, to strangers or through agencies or causes. I do know that whenever I have shown kindness in any manner, I feel better inside. And it is a high with a long shelf life.
For decades I was a regular donor for Blood Drives. It is a family tradition that goes on, a way of giving life without ever knowing whose life you touched. I always used to joke that when I gave, I always felt physically better as if I had a tune-up (I also enjoyed the orange juice and cookies).
Then there was a horrible rainy day about 38 years ago. I got one of those calls you hope will never come. My daughter, Lara, had been in a serious car accident on Highway 17, where she was hit by four cars and a semi-truck and ejected out of her car through the windshield. I was told she was in critical condition.
That first day in the hospital, she was given eight units of blood and several more the next day. I remember thinking of all the times I had donated blood, never imagining that the day would come when someone else’s would save my youngest daughter’s life.
We all never know when someone may need the act of loving kindness or when we might. I have spent most of my life trying to do for others, and it has given me much joy. Now, at this time in my life, I have been more of a recipient.
My readers have read about my three past hospitalizations since Dec. 10 and of the generosity and kindness I have been shown. When I wrote last week’s column on Random Kindness, I was not feeling well, and my symptoms got worse, resulting in me once more going by ambulance to Modesto for another surgery.
To say I am worn out is an understatement. Still. I was and am once more the recipient of kindness, which began with the ride to the hospital and after I arrived. These were acts I call being in the act of service kindnesses.
Yes, the staff had to care for me as part of their job description, but most went beyond that level. That extra kindness meant the world to me. The two young ambulance attendants were so careful with me and did all they could to keep me comfortable.
When we finally reached the hospital, they could have just handed me over, but noticing there would be a wait, they told the receptionist that they would wait with me until I was taken to a bed.
One of them held my hand and told me that he hoped that I would not have to go by ambulance again, but he sure hoped that if I did, he would be the one to go with me. He even asked if I could be his second grandma, a nice gesture at the time.
Throughout the stay I was once more greeted with extra kindness at a time when I felt very ill, in pain, and a bit nervous. One nurse kept running to the cafeteria to get me my beloved Peppers, and another stayed after her shift and washed my hair and just sat awhile with me.
These examples of acts of kindness made life a little easier, and they were a great example of situational, one-on-one, face-to-face kindness.
Over fifty years ago, I was living in the San Fernando Valley with three very young children and a husband making very little money. Since he worked many nights, I responded to an ad for a free dog.
The woman who had placed the ad was named Laura and she brought the dog to our small rental. She sat and spoke with me for several hours; a lovely lady in every sense of the word.
A few hours after Laura left, a station wagon pulled up in front of my place, and three teenagers began unloading bags from the car. I figured it had to be for my neighbors. Imagine my surprise when twelve bags of food entered my home as the teenagers said, “These are from our mom, Laura. She told us to tell you that someday, when you can, pass it on.”
Overjoyed with the sheer bounty she had sent to us, someone she had only met for a few hours, I promised that I would. Over the years I have done that, always in honor of Laura. As overjoyed as I was for my family to receive the food that fed us for weeks, I can truthfully say that giving back has given me so much pleasure that I almost feel guilty.
My children’s father told me years after our divorce that he looked forward to every Christmas for his ritual. While playing Christmas music he pulled out all the requests for donations he has been saving from his favorite charities, mostly for animals. Then he wrote out check after check with a broad smile on his face.
After he died several years ago, his family, including me, donated to many of those same charities in his name. A great way to spread kindness is through such donations.
The people who benefit from your generosity will never know you, but joy is spread just the same. It reminds me of the old biblical saying, “Do not let the right hand know what the left hand is doing.”
Having lived in the Central Valley for over 35 years, I know how much kindness residents do through their churches and service clubs. I was so happy to be involved in many such efforts.
The Los Banos Lions’ free Christmas Eve dinner not only provides a hearty meal for those who cannot afford one, but it also gives those who do not have nearby friends or family a place to enjoy fellowship. There is no price tag you can put on that.
Rotary, the Elks, the Soroptimist, the Salvation Army, and really too many to list, all give to programs as well as to individuals hope, needed goods or equipment, their time and continued support throughout the year.
If you do not know where to start giving kindness, these clubs are a great place to get in the habit. At Christmas time there are angel trees that contain the wishes for a child who may not have a Merry Christmas without your generous heart.
There are so many ways to express kindness. Here are but a few: donate blood. Help your senior neighbors by taking out their trash, offering to run an errand for them, leaving flowers on their porch, or when you bake, bake extra and leave it for them.
Pay for the person behind you when you get your coffee, and maybe they will do the same. Write a note to an old teacher telling them how they influenced you, and send or drop off cards at a convalescent home. Better yet, visit some of the residents.
Return someone’s grocery cart. Offer to walk someone’s dog. I know that I bless the people who have stepped up to walk Yogi.
Donate to an animal shelter money, food or blankets. Sign up to be an organ donor. Be generous with compliments. Forgive and repeat, could we not all use some of that?
Offer to drive someone to church. Donate, offer to help, lend a hand. Bring treats to your local police or fire station. They do so much for us.
Mahatma Gandhi told us to “Be the change you want to see in the world.” Or perhaps Dalia Lama’s words may reach you: “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”
It is just as easy to create contagious acts of kindness as it is to spread words of hate, and the payback for kindness can be manifest. When someone is talking to you, look into their eyes and really listen. That is such a great gift.
I will close this with one of my favorite ways my family has given out random kindness. When my granddaughters were young, on Christmas Eve day, I would buy them a large basket and then take them to the store to buy about fifty dollars’ worth of gifts of their choice.
Then we would walk down Main Street Los Banos, and they would choose people to go up to and after saying Merry Christmas to them, ask them to please take any gift they liked.
Some people would respond that they did not want to buy anything. They would smile and explain that for Christmas, in honor of Jesus, they were giving the gifts to strangers.
I have talked to many people in later years who warmly remember that gesture. It is never too soon to plant the seeds of kindness.
After we leave this earth, we will not be remembered for the size of our bank accounts but for the generosity of our hearts. So go ahead, spread kindness generously.
