Loss should never come between family and the festivities of the season, and this Dec. 8, those who have experienced a family tragedy this year are invited to attend the 25th annual Candle Lighting event in Pacheco Park.
Headed by Judy and Stacy Brehm, along with a group of supporters that has only grown over the years, this vigil is the latest in a longstanding tradition that seeks to provide comfort and closure to families who are burdened with more than their fair share of grief during the season they need it the most.
The event was founded as both an acceptance of grief and a show of community. Having lost her son just before the holidays nearly 30 years ago, Judy Brehm realized just how cold the winter festivities could feel when a family is missing a member.
Rather than shoving her grief below store-bought bows and impersonal greeting cards, Brehm decided to acknowledge loss head-on and reached out to other parents in her community who had suffered the loss of a child.
Before long, Brehm had amassed a sizable group all dedicated to keeping the memory of their lost loved ones alive. 25 years later, the event is still going strong, and the memory of all the dearly departed family members is still burning bright every winter.
This particular candlelight vigil is always held on the second Sunday in December, to line up with a similar ceremony held by The Compassionate Friends, a nonprofit organization founded in the UK to support those going through periods of intense grief.
Though the CF organization’s vigil is held far across the pond, our local vigil lines up perfectly with the global remembrance movement that the British organization holds every year, and this was no accident.
Despite the lack of official affiliation with CF, Brehm was eager to hold the Los Banos vigil during the same time as the Worldwide Candle Lighting to help keep the 24-hour light of remembrance burning across the continents on this special night. So, rather than being an isolated event in which families of the Central Valley huddle together alone in the dark, this vigil is part of a much larger movement, and the warm glow coming from the dedicated supporters in Pacheco Park is just one spark in a worldwide blaze of hope.
The candle lighting is much more than the average vigil, as in addition to encompassing the celebration of many loved ones instead of just one tragedy, guests are welcome to speak and read poems to fully express their grief and dedication to remembrance.
The event also features a slideshow highlighting the lives of those who lost theirs too soon, to remind everyone in attendance that the flames burning through the night represent much more than a single thought given on a winter’s night.
Entrance to the vigil is completely free and always will be, as the event coordinators want this to be a night of remembrance over anything else. Though no physical or financial support is required, Brehm and her associates are always grateful to the set-up and take down crew, as well as those who show up early and stay late to help with set-up and take down.
The ceremony will be taking place Dec. 8 at 6:45 p.m., and candles will be provided for all in attendance. Whether you have lost a loved one this year or simply wish to support someone who has, there will be plenty of space, candles and members of your community waiting to welcome you with open arms.
